We are a coalition of parents that have been harmed and robbed by Jennifer Graves Borcherding as far back as 2007. COntact the governer, the bar, anyone - Here are just SOME of our stories.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. She was a terrible GAL. When I brought my children to meet her she said it was inappropriate that she didn't need to meet with them. She did not listen to my side of the story in regards to their best interest but she gladly took as much money as she could. My ex-husband was found guilty of child abuse and she still saw fit to advise joint custody. Terrible!
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. This GAL needs to STOP representing children . She is NOT in the best interest of a child. She fully supports dead beat fathers who do not care about their children or pay for. She finds it necessary to speak to a third party. When given proof she ignores it and will BOLD FACE LIE to a Judge. She's miserable in her own life that she some how feels justified to punish innocent children and families. She Does NOT know what is in the best interest of a child because she has NO CHILDREN OF HER OWN!!! So how would you know what a child needs or wants! She's never had to show proof to a Judge they are suppose believe an attorney but when a ROGUE GAL she needs to be looked into. I will make every effort to follow thru to have her disbarred as GAL. she needs to be brought out into the public and to the Bar Association to be stopped.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. Please look this Rogue GAL up first and continue your search to a different lawyer one that is NOT biased and a Rogue. All she is worried about is looking good to a Judge by lying and NOT doing her job as a GAL. She has been given several documents to research and check into and has failed to do so. If you do show her in black n white the proof she will twist it pick it apart and still accuse you of things that are not true. She will NOT talk to the child's mother but she finds it ok to speak to a third party who has many issues. She will not and did not speak to any family members of the child but will speak with the third party. She has been involved in illegally stealing a child twice and never checked the living cobditions and the harm the child has to endure. She's more worried about money and her prestige NOT the child's best interest. She didn't find it necessary to sit in a child's principals depo fôr her on client but found it ok to be at the third parties depo. Both sides wer
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. She should not be allowed to be a GAL. The only Thing she cares about is charging a ton of money and protecting abusers!!! She does not care about the innocent children. I feel her cases should be looked at by a third party to make certain she in offering an unbiased opinion.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. She was too busy with her own social life to represent me adequately. Constantly worried about her own image than my interests. In a year that she represented me, probably spent 2 days worth of work on my case. I would not recommend hiring her unless you would like to give everything to your ex and be left on your own.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. As a father attempting to gain custody, I felt I was in for an uphill battle from the start. I was then even further concerned when Jennifer was assigned to my case after reading reviews on her here. However, I've been very pleasantly surprised. Jennifer is very thorough and detail-oriented. She worked as GAL, under an extremely tight schedule, due to the case circumstances. She asked the tough questions of both parties, and cut through the nonsense to see what was really going on. There was never a doubt that she had my child's best interestes in mind, which is really what it's all about in the end. If you have nothing to hide and come prepared, you will appreciate working with her.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. Rude and threatening. Fees outragous! Threatens dismissal at every turn and extreamly bias. Charged excessive amounts of money and does VERY LITTLE WORK! Should not be allowed to represent children due to terrorizing parents for money. Has no real care for child. All around nasty person to deal with!
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. Unimpressive GAL. Allowed ex-wife to control kids. When ex-wife refused to bring kids in for second visit, she allowed herself to be bullied. The GAL fees were over $10,000.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. Highly incompetent GAL who should be removed from representing children.
I would give her NO stars if I could. My daughter has experienced ALL OF THE ABOVE with this so called “ GAL” Coincidentally she got a big bill from her today. It sickens my stomach the amount of money that woman has robbed my daughter of. No home visits, no interviews with the significant others in the kids lives, no regard for volumes of evidence ( videos, FB posts, witnesses) showing the father’s lack of regard for the children’s safety and well being. History of drug abuse on his part, totally dismissed even though he failed NUMEROUS drug tests. You could never tell me she’s in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN or her ( never to be) ex would NOT be getting 50/50 custody! She totally dismissed the term “ narcissist” even though he is the epitome of a narcissist ( all you have to do is read the texts sent). She wouldn’t do a home visit because she was contaminated in a drug house once. ISN'T THAT YOUR JOB?? TO PROTECT POOR INNOCENT CHILDREN FROM SITUATIONS LIKE THAT? Wear a hazmat suit! Do YOUR JOB! It’s been a very frustrating almost 2 years going through this divorce with my daughter They wanted to grant primary residence to him when he has a history of drug abuse (and dealing) and is the worst father figure I have ever seen in my life. Yes, she supports deadbeat dads and dad’s who don’t deserve unsupervised visits with their kids. I could write a book on all the stuff he has pulled while we took the high road the entire time. Never uttering a negative word about him while he’s brainwashing the kids ( have proof) against their own mother and everyone else associated with her. Jennifer chose to IGNORE all this and more “ in the best interest of the kids”. I’ve cried myself to sleep many a nights over the injustice to my grandkids. She needs to go! No empathy is right!! Divorces are a big money grab these days.
I had the misfortune of having Jennifer Graves Borcherding serve as GAL in my divorce. On three separate occasions she threatened but my ex wife and myself with having our pleadings tossed if we did not deliver money to her THAT day. Every hearing her judge friend orders more money for this woman. She won't take calls, did not show up at either deposition. She is the slimiest lawyer I have ever met. Jennifer Graves Borcherding should be disbarred. No question.
When I saw this link about Jennifer Graves Borcherding, an attorney and Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) with the St. Louis-based law firm Sievers & Borcherding, I felt such relief that a coalition of people are finally coming together to do something about trying to get her disqualified.
(I apologize in advance for the long post because there is so much to include. If you end up reading the whole thing, thank you for sticking with me!)
She has been the GAL assigned to my divorce and much of the nightmare surrounarding the whole case begins and ends with Ms. Borcherding.
If you care about children, the concept of “family” (however you personally define it), mothers, fathers, grandparents, victims of domestic violence, survivors of abuse, the mentally-challenged or mentally ill, the profoundly disabled, or genuinely good people who might just need a second chance, then I believe we have a responsibility to take a stand for every single person Ms. Borcherding has treated - and will treat - like yesterday’s trash.
I’d never worked with a GAL before, so it was hard for me to know what to actually expect versus what was unusual or downright wrong. After doing a ton of research, which included speaking to a lot of people about my experience so far (other attorneys, victim’s advocates, children’s advocates in the St. Louis County Family Courts, other GALs, social workers, other families who’d been assigned to Ms. Borcherding also, and more), unfortunately, I learned a lot of things caused me to become very fearful of how my case could turn out. I also want to clarify that these conversations I had weren’t meant to cause drama, gossip, or badmouth anyone - they were discussions which were strictly confidential and addressed the grave concerns I’d begun having about Ms. Borcherding’s authentic compassion for the children she’s being paid (quite a lot) to represent.
In fact, a number of attorneys I spoke with will no longer work with Jennifer Graves Borcherding. These are well-regarded attorneys who’ve been in practice for years and who take no joy in saying anything negative about one of their peers. But they sure weren’t shy about describing Ms. Borcherding as "difficult," "uncaring," "incompetent," a "know-it-all" (who doesn't have any children herself, by the way), “not interested in the truth,” “someone who makes up her mind at the very beginning of a case, despite the facts and then won’t consider anything which contradicts her decision,” and worst of all, "the type of GAL attorneys move to get disqualified immediately" if she’s assigned to their cases because they don’t want her anywhere near the clients they care about.
PLEASE NOTE: If you’re a victim of abuse or domestic violence, prepare to be victimized all over again because Jennifer Graves Borcherding seems to be incapable of empathy (even on the off-chance she might believe you):
Provide her with police reports, photos or medical documentation about your abuse? Don’t bother, she won’t look at them, review them, or even make the most cursory phone call to investigate a single thing she’d been provided.
Did you work with a women’s shelter or domestic violence organization to create a confidential “Safety Plan”? Too bad for you - if Ms. Borcherding happens to know any of the details, you better believe they’ll be mentioned in open court because she finds Safety Plans to be “silly.” No lie - that’s an actual real life quote.
Have you been a victim of sexual assault? As a fellow victim of sexual assault, please know that I’m sorry for what you must have gone through. However, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t warn you since you definitely won’t see it coming: Prepare to be questioned about every intimate detail of the sexual assault in an open courtroom as Jennifer Graves Borcherding asks questions (without making any attempt to conceal which the Judge will demand you respond to, and you can count on the fact that the questions you’ll be asked will have no obvious relevance to your case, aside from demeaning you as a human being.
I won’t lie. This will leave you feeling shattered and emotionally devastated - how could it not? So you may want to coordinate having an advocate, close friend, or loving family member with you at each hearing - they can be an enormous source of support and help you deal with just how terrible you’ll be made to feel.
Sometimes, after going through a terrible trauma like sexual assault (whether it took place yesterday or 15 years ago), it makes all the difference in the world to have a non-judgmental and friendly hand to hold, someone who’s supportive and makes you feel as if you have value as a person and that you matter. You’ll need someone like that to stand by you if Jennifer Graves Borcherding has anything to do with it.
In fact, you may want to call around to a few local victim’s advocacy groups like the County Order of Protection Assistance program (COPA) or Legal Advocates for Abused Women (LAAW). Not only are they absolutely amazing organizations if you’re recovering from an abusive relationship, but they’re already pretty familiar with Jennifer Graves Borcherding. It’s kind of hard not to be when they have to deal with the fallout of her callous and irresponsible actions so frequently.
I’m sure they get lots of phone calls just like one I made not too long ago to someone who’d been working especially closely with me. I was sobbing so hard I could hardly talk and couldn’t understand how another woman would be so cruel and demeaning when she doesn’t know the first thing about me and definitely has no idea what I’ve been through. She made me feel ashamed.
I mean, it’s not as if she really has a reputation for being an advocate for women in the first place. Not that she has a reputation as being an advocate for children or fathers or grandparents or anyone else either, but if you’ve done a quick Google search for “Jennifer Graves Borcherding,” you’ve already learned this on your own.
Her reputation as a GAL can only be described as reprehensible. If you’ve had a chance to check any of them out, you’ll notice that each review has a common theme: Jennifer Graves Borcherding has zero interest in the children she supposedly "represents" and she only cares about money.
I’m not perfect - far from it - but I really do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. At first, I thought maybe all the terrible things I was reading about her online couldn’t possibly be true. But then I met her and began to understand what all those other people were taking about. It didn’t take long to realize that not only is every awful thing I’ve read about Ms. Borcherding true but, in my opinion, many of those who reviewed her online held back for some reason. Maybe they’re afraid of her and I suppose they have reason to be, but there comes a point where people need to come together and draw a line in the sand.
There’s power in numbers and I know there are a lot of us who could make a real difference towards having her disqualified.
Look, if you haven’t already, you’ll learn that Jennifer Graves Borcherding sympathy towards your plight will be strictly measured against how much you can pay her and when you can pay it. Your job is to pay up, shut up, and not question her judgment or opinions. Of course, how friendly she is with your attorney makes a big difference too. I’m sure if you have unlimited funds and you offer to take her out for drinks (or your attorney offers to), things will turn out just swell for you and yours.
I honestly have no idea what might happen to someone who couldn't afford to pay her fees - she threatens to have people held in contempt, to throw out their pleadings, to recommend the other parent get sole custody “because they’re more financially stable,” and so on - just because someone who's already paying thousands for a stressful divorce may not be able thousands more for Jennifer Graves Borcherding to do nothing. The ability to pay inflated fees to a GAL who couldn’t care less about either you or your child isn’t a reflection on you as a person OR on you as a parent.
It breaks my heart that this monster person is actually allowed to represent the best interests of children - she can't even be bothered to meet the very children she represents. I’ve read horror stories about how much some people have had to pay her - amounts in the high $20,000s+ which makes the $8,000 I’ve paid so far seem like nothing.
And just like everyone else, one year and $8,000 later, she still hasn’t met my child. I guess, in her opinion, the one hour she spent with me at her office nine months ago tells her everything she needed to know because she’s never met with me again - it’s hard enough to get her to respond to the rare email or phone call. Jennifer Graves Borcherding hasn’t been to my home, hasn’t attempted to establish even the most basic of relationships with my child, and seems to operate as if she has no accountability to anyone but herself.
I hope I’m not alone here when I say if you’ve gone through a divorce, even under the best of circumstances, then you know how stressful and terrifying it can be - rebuilding a life on your own with a child to think of and adjusting to a new normal is never easy and it’s usually pretty scary (even if your previous life was a lot like the 7th level of hell and, in comparison, the “new normal” is all rainbows and unicorns and zero-calorie ice cream which tastes like Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey).
If you’ve gone through a divorce, even under the best of circumstances, then you know exactly what it’s like when things get quiet and you’re laying in bed about to fall asleep, and your imagination goes into overdrive and you begin thinking about all the things you JUST KNOW are going to happen. “What if my almost-ex brings up that time I let our little girl have Doritos for breakfast? Or that one time when we were dancing and my knee somehow bonked our toddler right in the middle of her forehead and even though she thought it was hilarious, she ended up with that giant purple bruise? My ex has so much money, he’s smarter than I am, and he’s cut off so much of my access to any kind money for legal feels - I just know he’ll look like Super Dad and I’ll look like a hot mess who doesn’t even know how to tie her own shoes. What if he takes our daughter away and they move to another country and forgets all about me? Could that happen?! Am I really a good mother?” and on and on and on. Deep down, you know these irrational thoughts aren’t true, but you can’t help feeling this way nonetheless.
Then, when you share some of these fears, everyone tells you it will turn out just fine, you’re overreacting, you worry too much - just like most people do when dealing with custody issues and a court process few of us fully understand… as long as Jennifer Graves Borcherding isn’t your GAL, you really will be fine.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding should not be permitted to serve as a GAL in any capacity - children and those who need someone to guide them through the court process shouldn’t be the victims of the very people entrusted with making vital decisions about a child’s future. She’s a blight on her profession and the type of attorney who gives good attorneys a bad name.
In retrospect, I don’t believe Ms. Borcherding really gives much thought at all to how her words and actions affect others and, sadly, I think she’s okay with that. I’d say she should be ashamed, but I’m not sure she’s capable of the emotion.
Have you had the same type of experiences as others who’ve had her assigned as their GAL? I’m not sure yet how to become part of the coalition to disqualify Borcherding, but if you don’t know either, please post a message on this review and we’ll figure it out together.
Here’s a link to the guidelines for GALs as outlined by the MO Supreme Court: http://www.courts.mo.gov/courts/clerkhandbooksp2rulesonly.nsf/c0c6ffa99df4993f86256ba50057dcb8/a6135d5fc4666c9f8625769d005a45fe?OpenDocument Is this the kind of GAL that Jennifer Graves Borcherding was for your child?
It only takes a couple minutes to make a quick online comment, post a review, or send an email - I’ve even posted some links below, so PLEASE stand up to the system and help make a change. (Then give yourself a high-five and tell yourself you’re one super awesome person!)
In the meantime, how can you take action?
Let Jennifer Graves Borcherding’s law firm partners know what you and so many others have gone through and demand they do something about it.
Tell the St. Louis County Family Courts your story and demand they address the matter.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding is a particular favorite of Judge Sandra Farragut-Hemphill and Hemphill is very vocal about letting Ms. Borcherding make the child custody decisions. - make sure you let Judge Hemphill know how you feel too.
File a complaint against her as an attorney if she’s violated any of the ethical guidelines for MO attorneys (hhttp://www.mochiefcounsel.org/ocdc.htm?id=9&cat=2)
Post online reviews everywhere you can and tell everyone you know to do the same - FB, Twitter, Angie’s List, Craigslist, community forums, anywhere.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding Reviews
We are a coalition of parents that have been harmed and robbed by Jennifer Graves Borcherding as far back as 2007. COntact the governer, the bar, anyone - Here are just SOME of our stories.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. She was a terrible GAL. When I brought my children to meet her she said it was inappropriate that she didn't need to meet with them. She did not listen to my side of the story in regards to their best interest but she gladly took as much money as she could. My ex-husband was found guilty of child abuse and she still saw fit to advise joint custody. Terrible!
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. This GAL needs to STOP representing children . She is NOT in the best interest of a child. She fully supports dead beat fathers who do not care about their children or pay for. She finds it necessary to speak to a third party. When given proof she ignores it and will BOLD FACE LIE to a Judge. She's miserable in her own life that she some how feels justified to punish innocent children and families. She Does NOT know what is in the best interest of a child because she has NO CHILDREN OF HER OWN!!! So how would you know what a child needs or wants! She's never had to show proof to a Judge they are suppose believe an attorney but when a ROGUE GAL she needs to be looked into. I will make every effort to follow thru to have her disbarred as GAL. she needs to be brought out into the public and to the Bar Association to be stopped.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. Please look this Rogue GAL up first and continue your search to a different lawyer one that is NOT biased and a Rogue. All she is worried about is looking good to a Judge by lying and NOT doing her job as a GAL. She has been given several documents to research and check into and has failed to do so. If you do show her in black n white the proof she will twist it pick it apart and still accuse you of things that are not true. She will NOT talk to the child's mother but she finds it ok to speak to a third party who has many issues. She will not and did not speak to any family members of the child but will speak with the third party. She has been involved in illegally stealing a child twice and never checked the living cobditions and the harm the child has to endure. She's more worried about money and her prestige NOT the child's best interest. She didn't find it necessary to sit in a child's principals depo fôr her on client but found it ok to be at the third parties depo. Both sides wer
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. She should not be allowed to be a GAL. The only Thing she cares about is charging a ton of money and protecting abusers!!! She does not care about the innocent children. I feel her cases should be looked at by a third party to make certain she in offering an unbiased opinion.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. She was too busy with her own social life to represent me adequately. Constantly worried about her own image than my interests. In a year that she represented me, probably spent 2 days worth of work on my case. I would not recommend hiring her unless you would like to give everything to your ex and be left on your own.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. As a father attempting to gain custody, I felt I was in for an uphill battle from the start. I was then even further concerned when Jennifer was assigned to my case after reading reviews on her here. However, I've been very pleasantly surprised. Jennifer is very thorough and detail-oriented. She worked as GAL, under an extremely tight schedule, due to the case circumstances. She asked the tough questions of both parties, and cut through the nonsense to see what was really going on. There was never a doubt that she had my child's best interestes in mind, which is really what it's all about in the end. If you have nothing to hide and come prepared, you will appreciate working with her.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. Rude and threatening. Fees outragous! Threatens dismissal at every turn and extreamly bias. Charged excessive amounts of money and does VERY LITTLE WORK! Should not be allowed to represent children due to terrorizing parents for money. Has no real care for child. All around nasty person to deal with!
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. Unimpressive GAL. Allowed ex-wife to control kids. When ex-wife refused to bring kids in for second visit, she allowed herself to be bullied. The GAL fees were over $10,000.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding. Highly incompetent GAL who should be removed from representing children.
A JOKE
I would give her NO stars if I could. My daughter has experienced ALL OF THE ABOVE with this so called “ GAL” Coincidentally she got a big bill from her today. It sickens my stomach the amount of money that woman has robbed my daughter of. No home visits, no interviews with the significant others in the kids lives, no regard for volumes of evidence ( videos, FB posts, witnesses) showing the father’s lack of regard for the children’s safety and well being. History of drug abuse on his part, totally dismissed even though he failed NUMEROUS drug tests. You could never tell me she’s in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN or her ( never to be) ex would NOT be getting 50/50 custody! She totally dismissed the term “ narcissist” even though he is the epitome of a narcissist ( all you have to do is read the texts sent). She wouldn’t do a home visit because she was contaminated in a drug house once. ISN'T THAT YOUR JOB?? TO PROTECT POOR INNOCENT CHILDREN FROM SITUATIONS LIKE THAT? Wear a hazmat suit! Do YOUR JOB! It’s been a very frustrating almost 2 years going through this divorce with my daughter They wanted to grant primary residence to him when he has a history of drug abuse (and dealing) and is the worst father figure I have ever seen in my life. Yes, she supports deadbeat dads and dad’s who don’t deserve unsupervised visits with their kids. I could write a book on all the stuff he has pulled while we took the high road the entire time. Never uttering a negative word about him while he’s brainwashing the kids ( have proof) against their own mother and everyone else associated with her. Jennifer chose to IGNORE all this and more “ in the best interest of the kids”. I’ve cried myself to sleep many a nights over the injustice to my grandkids. She needs to go! No empathy is right!! Divorces are a big money grab these days.
I had the misfortune of having Jennifer Graves Borcherding serve as GAL in my divorce. On three separate occasions she threatened but my ex wife and myself with having our pleadings tossed if we did not deliver money to her THAT day. Every hearing her judge friend orders more money for this woman. She won't take calls, did not show up at either deposition. She is the slimiest lawyer I have ever met. Jennifer Graves Borcherding should be disbarred. No question.
When I saw this link about Jennifer Graves Borcherding, an attorney and Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) with the St. Louis-based law firm Sievers & Borcherding, I felt such relief that a coalition of people are finally coming together to do something about trying to get her disqualified.
(I apologize in advance for the long post because there is so much to include. If you end up reading the whole thing, thank you for sticking with me!)
She has been the GAL assigned to my divorce and much of the nightmare surrounarding the whole case begins and ends with Ms. Borcherding.
If you care about children, the concept of “family” (however you personally define it), mothers, fathers, grandparents, victims of domestic violence, survivors of abuse, the mentally-challenged or mentally ill, the profoundly disabled, or genuinely good people who might just need a second chance, then I believe we have a responsibility to take a stand for every single person Ms. Borcherding has treated - and will treat - like yesterday’s trash.
I’d never worked with a GAL before, so it was hard for me to know what to actually expect versus what was unusual or downright wrong. After doing a ton of research, which included speaking to a lot of people about my experience so far (other attorneys, victim’s advocates, children’s advocates in the St. Louis County Family Courts, other GALs, social workers, other families who’d been assigned to Ms. Borcherding also, and more), unfortunately, I learned a lot of things caused me to become very fearful of how my case could turn out. I also want to clarify that these conversations I had weren’t meant to cause drama, gossip, or badmouth anyone - they were discussions which were strictly confidential and addressed the grave concerns I’d begun having about Ms. Borcherding’s authentic compassion for the children she’s being paid (quite a lot) to represent.
In fact, a number of attorneys I spoke with will no longer work with Jennifer Graves Borcherding. These are well-regarded attorneys who’ve been in practice for years and who take no joy in saying anything negative about one of their peers. But they sure weren’t shy about describing Ms. Borcherding as "difficult," "uncaring," "incompetent," a "know-it-all" (who doesn't have any children herself, by the way), “not interested in the truth,” “someone who makes up her mind at the very beginning of a case, despite the facts and then won’t consider anything which contradicts her decision,” and worst of all, "the type of GAL attorneys move to get disqualified immediately" if she’s assigned to their cases because they don’t want her anywhere near the clients they care about.
PLEASE NOTE: If you’re a victim of abuse or domestic violence, prepare to be victimized all over again because Jennifer Graves Borcherding seems to be incapable of empathy (even on the off-chance she might believe you):
Provide her with police reports, photos or medical documentation about your abuse? Don’t bother, she won’t look at them, review them, or even make the most cursory phone call to investigate a single thing she’d been provided.
Did you work with a women’s shelter or domestic violence organization to create a confidential “Safety Plan”? Too bad for you - if Ms. Borcherding happens to know any of the details, you better believe they’ll be mentioned in open court because she finds Safety Plans to be “silly.” No lie - that’s an actual real life quote.
Have you been a victim of sexual assault? As a fellow victim of sexual assault, please know that I’m sorry for what you must have gone through. However, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t warn you since you definitely won’t see it coming: Prepare to be questioned about every intimate detail of the sexual assault in an open courtroom as Jennifer Graves Borcherding asks questions (without making any attempt to conceal which the Judge will demand you respond to, and you can count on the fact that the questions you’ll be asked will have no obvious relevance to your case, aside from demeaning you as a human being.
I won’t lie. This will leave you feeling shattered and emotionally devastated - how could it not? So you may want to coordinate having an advocate, close friend, or loving family member with you at each hearing - they can be an enormous source of support and help you deal with just how terrible you’ll be made to feel.
Sometimes, after going through a terrible trauma like sexual assault (whether it took place yesterday or 15 years ago), it makes all the difference in the world to have a non-judgmental and friendly hand to hold, someone who’s supportive and makes you feel as if you have value as a person and that you matter. You’ll need someone like that to stand by you if Jennifer Graves Borcherding has anything to do with it.
In fact, you may want to call around to a few local victim’s advocacy groups like the County Order of Protection Assistance program (COPA) or Legal Advocates for Abused Women (LAAW). Not only are they absolutely amazing organizations if you’re recovering from an abusive relationship, but they’re already pretty familiar with Jennifer Graves Borcherding. It’s kind of hard not to be when they have to deal with the fallout of her callous and irresponsible actions so frequently.
I’m sure they get lots of phone calls just like one I made not too long ago to someone who’d been working especially closely with me. I was sobbing so hard I could hardly talk and couldn’t understand how another woman would be so cruel and demeaning when she doesn’t know the first thing about me and definitely has no idea what I’ve been through. She made me feel ashamed.
I mean, it’s not as if she really has a reputation for being an advocate for women in the first place. Not that she has a reputation as being an advocate for children or fathers or grandparents or anyone else either, but if you’ve done a quick Google search for “Jennifer Graves Borcherding,” you’ve already learned this on your own.
Her reputation as a GAL can only be described as reprehensible. If you’ve had a chance to check any of them out, you’ll notice that each review has a common theme: Jennifer Graves Borcherding has zero interest in the children she supposedly "represents" and she only cares about money.
I’m not perfect - far from it - but I really do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. At first, I thought maybe all the terrible things I was reading about her online couldn’t possibly be true. But then I met her and began to understand what all those other people were taking about. It didn’t take long to realize that not only is every awful thing I’ve read about Ms. Borcherding true but, in my opinion, many of those who reviewed her online held back for some reason. Maybe they’re afraid of her and I suppose they have reason to be, but there comes a point where people need to come together and draw a line in the sand.
There’s power in numbers and I know there are a lot of us who could make a real difference towards having her disqualified.
Look, if you haven’t already, you’ll learn that Jennifer Graves Borcherding sympathy towards your plight will be strictly measured against how much you can pay her and when you can pay it. Your job is to pay up, shut up, and not question her judgment or opinions. Of course, how friendly she is with your attorney makes a big difference too. I’m sure if you have unlimited funds and you offer to take her out for drinks (or your attorney offers to), things will turn out just swell for you and yours.
I honestly have no idea what might happen to someone who couldn't afford to pay her fees - she threatens to have people held in contempt, to throw out their pleadings, to recommend the other parent get sole custody “because they’re more financially stable,” and so on - just because someone who's already paying thousands for a stressful divorce may not be able thousands more for Jennifer Graves Borcherding to do nothing. The ability to pay inflated fees to a GAL who couldn’t care less about either you or your child isn’t a reflection on you as a person OR on you as a parent.
It breaks my heart that this monster person is actually allowed to represent the best interests of children - she can't even be bothered to meet the very children she represents. I’ve read horror stories about how much some people have had to pay her - amounts in the high $20,000s+ which makes the $8,000 I’ve paid so far seem like nothing.
And just like everyone else, one year and $8,000 later, she still hasn’t met my child. I guess, in her opinion, the one hour she spent with me at her office nine months ago tells her everything she needed to know because she’s never met with me again - it’s hard enough to get her to respond to the rare email or phone call. Jennifer Graves Borcherding hasn’t been to my home, hasn’t attempted to establish even the most basic of relationships with my child, and seems to operate as if she has no accountability to anyone but herself.
I hope I’m not alone here when I say if you’ve gone through a divorce, even under the best of circumstances, then you know how stressful and terrifying it can be - rebuilding a life on your own with a child to think of and adjusting to a new normal is never easy and it’s usually pretty scary (even if your previous life was a lot like the 7th level of hell and, in comparison, the “new normal” is all rainbows and unicorns and zero-calorie ice cream which tastes like Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey).
If you’ve gone through a divorce, even under the best of circumstances, then you know exactly what it’s like when things get quiet and you’re laying in bed about to fall asleep, and your imagination goes into overdrive and you begin thinking about all the things you JUST KNOW are going to happen. “What if my almost-ex brings up that time I let our little girl have Doritos for breakfast? Or that one time when we were dancing and my knee somehow bonked our toddler right in the middle of her forehead and even though she thought it was hilarious, she ended up with that giant purple bruise? My ex has so much money, he’s smarter than I am, and he’s cut off so much of my access to any kind money for legal feels - I just know he’ll look like Super Dad and I’ll look like a hot mess who doesn’t even know how to tie her own shoes. What if he takes our daughter away and they move to another country and forgets all about me? Could that happen?! Am I really a good mother?” and on and on and on. Deep down, you know these irrational thoughts aren’t true, but you can’t help feeling this way nonetheless.
Then, when you share some of these fears, everyone tells you it will turn out just fine, you’re overreacting, you worry too much - just like most people do when dealing with custody issues and a court process few of us fully understand… as long as Jennifer Graves Borcherding isn’t your GAL, you really will be fine.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding should not be permitted to serve as a GAL in any capacity - children and those who need someone to guide them through the court process shouldn’t be the victims of the very people entrusted with making vital decisions about a child’s future. She’s a blight on her profession and the type of attorney who gives good attorneys a bad name.
In retrospect, I don’t believe Ms. Borcherding really gives much thought at all to how her words and actions affect others and, sadly, I think she’s okay with that. I’d say she should be ashamed, but I’m not sure she’s capable of the emotion.
Have you had the same type of experiences as others who’ve had her assigned as their GAL? I’m not sure yet how to become part of the coalition to disqualify Borcherding, but if you don’t know either, please post a message on this review and we’ll figure it out together.
Here’s a link to the guidelines for GALs as outlined by the MO Supreme Court: http://www.courts.mo.gov/courts/clerkhandbooksp2rulesonly.nsf/c0c6ffa99df4993f86256ba50057dcb8/a6135d5fc4666c9f8625769d005a45fe?OpenDocument Is this the kind of GAL that Jennifer Graves Borcherding was for your child?
It only takes a couple minutes to make a quick online comment, post a review, or send an email - I’ve even posted some links below, so PLEASE stand up to the system and help make a change. (Then give yourself a high-five and tell yourself you’re one super awesome person!)
In the meantime, how can you take action?
Let Jennifer Graves Borcherding’s law firm partners know what you and so many others have gone through and demand they do something about it.
Tell the St. Louis County Family Courts your story and demand they address the matter.
Jennifer Graves Borcherding is a particular favorite of Judge Sandra Farragut-Hemphill and Hemphill is very vocal about letting Ms. Borcherding make the child custody decisions. - make sure you let Judge Hemphill know how you feel too.
File a complaint against her as an attorney if she’s violated any of the ethical guidelines for MO attorneys (hhttp://www.mochiefcounsel.org/ocdc.htm?id=9&cat=2)
Post online reviews everywhere you can and tell everyone you know to do the same - FB, Twitter, Angie’s List, Craigslist, community forums, anywhere.