I am writing this review in the hopes that it may help another mother or father make a more informed decision on choosing a military academy for their child. Like many other parents, I looked at military school as a way to help my son just get back on track after he started to succumb to the peer pressure in high school. Prior to his 10th grade year, Brandon was on an amazing path to success. He did great academically, was very talented athletically playing several sports but especially excelling in soccer, and he was an extremely charming and charismatic teenager. After getting tied up with some not so great kids in 10th grade, we tried a variety of the normal parenting techniques to keep him on track. We grounded, we took away cell phones & other privileges, we did counseling, we set more boundaries, we made a family contract, and the list goes on.
After doing some research, we settled on a semester at Oak Ridge Military Academy in North Carolina. Oak Ridge served its purpose well for that one semester-2nd half of his 10th grade year. Brandon was at school every day, he performed outstanding-never in trouble once and his GPA was back up to where we needed it to be for college, and he really didn’t seem to hate being there. However, it wasn’t life changing. He wasn’t challenged academically, the athletic program was very limited, and the kids referred to the school as “Joke Ridge”. I knew that I hadn’t exactly gotten the permanent results that I had hoped for BUT he was coming home for the summer a bit more disciplined and definitely with higher grades. Since things had gone well and he was once again respecting house rules, he began his 11th grade year in his public school at home. Well…same kids, same place, same troubles.
By about September, I already knew we were in trouble. He was involved in the same group of kids, started smoking marijuana, and sometimes just didn’t come home. I was worried for his safety, his academic performance, and worried about what else he might try since he was back to making the same bad decisions. Worst of all, I had the mother of one of the “bad” kids, encouraging Brandon. She was telling him that he could live with them, she would give him a car since we had taken his, etc. I was terrified that he was going to just leave home, go live with them, and his future would be grim. Once again, we were back to the drawing board. I needed a way to get my son away from those influences and into some place where he could excel academically, have his athletics, and most importantly-develop some stronger character traits to help him not only get on the right path but stay on it this time. After doing some online searching and reading, requesting brochures, etc- we settled on Hargrave Military Academy. It was larger than Oak Ridge, seemed to be stronger both academically and athletically, and I thought it would be a great fit for Brandon. During my research, I did find a lawsuit where a kid was expelled for stealing, but my kid wasn’t a thief right? He had literally never been in trouble for anything in school-everyone loved Brandon so it never occurred to me that I could find myself in that same position.
I began the process and enrolled Brandon toward the end of October 2015. He was angry-much worse than when he went to Oak Ridge. But he was in deeper now with the wrong crowd and he did not want to leave them. He wanted to just move out but as the parent of a minor, I was not going to let that happen. So, with a very sad heart, I dropped him off at Hargrave. I checked in a couple of times after we got home and even drove four hours a few days later to see his first soccer game-he played amazing for them and I know the coaches were thrilled to have him. He did everything he was supposed to do for that first week. Then, the weekend came, and they gave him his cell phone. A cell phone?? The rules, even at Hargrave, are that students do not have cell phones for the first 2-3 weeks of classes. A lot of kids aren’t excited to be there and this time gives them a period to adjust before talking to people back home. I’m not sure why a new student would be treated any different should they come later into the semester. For Oak Ridge, there are no cell phones or internet for any student during the 2 week “matriculation” period. So, Brandon gets his cell phone, and his first call-right to the “bad” kid that he wants to go live with and his “bad” mother.
To shorten the story, the next call I get is from Hargrave, on a Sunday evening, that Brandon is missing. He walked off campus. He was found about an hour later already back in our home town because the “bad” kid had taken him mom’s car and drove the 4.5 hours to Virginia to pick up my son. As days unfold, Hargrave informs me that he cannot return because he has broken the rule and he is too risky. I was able to get law enforcement involved and there is a court order issued, a protective order to prevent “bad” kid and his mother from contacting or harboring my son in their home. We run around at home like crazy people trying to figure out what to do and in the end, draw out all the rest of our savings and Brandon’s money for college, to send him to a private school in Utah where he can finish out the school year away from everyone, get therapy and discipline, and hopefully this time come home older and wiser. I am happy to report, that as of today, he is doing great. Grades are good, behavior is excellent, and he is doing what he needs to do. However, as a family, it is difficult. He is tremendously homesick. He missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and his birthday because there are not breaks like a normal school or a military school like Hargrave, and it is terribly expensive to fly back and forth. Financially, we are broke now with all of the tuition costs and the legal fees to get the permanent protective order in place. The whole situation has broken my heart but we were without many options and I had to protect my son whatever that involved which brings me to my very important advice about looking at different options to help your child.
At Hargrave, I signed a contract. I did. I signed it for an entire year of tuition. You know why? I would have done anything to help my son. That’s what we do. These schools are a business and they bank on us doing that. Military, boarding, therapeutic schools and wilderness camps make millions off of parents with “struggling” teens just like me every year. I am by no means saying they are bad or do not help, but they are businesses. That’s it-just like every other business that needs your money to survive. As parents, we will sign things without even really looking at it or thinking it through, just to help our kids.
Parents researching for ways to get their teens back on track do it while having a ton of different emotions:
Hargrave Military Academy Reviews
I am writing this review in the hopes that it may help another mother or father make a more informed decision on choosing a military academy for their child. Like many other parents, I looked at military school as a way to help my son just get back on track after he started to succumb to the peer pressure in high school. Prior to his 10th grade year, Brandon was on an amazing path to success. He did great academically, was very talented athletically playing several sports but especially excelling in soccer, and he was an extremely charming and charismatic teenager. After getting tied up with some not so great kids in 10th grade, we tried a variety of the normal parenting techniques to keep him on track. We grounded, we took away cell phones & other privileges, we did counseling, we set more boundaries, we made a family contract, and the list goes on.
After doing some research, we settled on a semester at Oak Ridge Military Academy in North Carolina. Oak Ridge served its purpose well for that one semester-2nd half of his 10th grade year. Brandon was at school every day, he performed outstanding-never in trouble once and his GPA was back up to where we needed it to be for college, and he really didn’t seem to hate being there. However, it wasn’t life changing. He wasn’t challenged academically, the athletic program was very limited, and the kids referred to the school as “Joke Ridge”. I knew that I hadn’t exactly gotten the permanent results that I had hoped for BUT he was coming home for the summer a bit more disciplined and definitely with higher grades. Since things had gone well and he was once again respecting house rules, he began his 11th grade year in his public school at home. Well…same kids, same place, same troubles.
By about September, I already knew we were in trouble. He was involved in the same group of kids, started smoking marijuana, and sometimes just didn’t come home. I was worried for his safety, his academic performance, and worried about what else he might try since he was back to making the same bad decisions. Worst of all, I had the mother of one of the “bad” kids, encouraging Brandon. She was telling him that he could live with them, she would give him a car since we had taken his, etc. I was terrified that he was going to just leave home, go live with them, and his future would be grim. Once again, we were back to the drawing board. I needed a way to get my son away from those influences and into some place where he could excel academically, have his athletics, and most importantly-develop some stronger character traits to help him not only get on the right path but stay on it this time. After doing some online searching and reading, requesting brochures, etc- we settled on Hargrave Military Academy. It was larger than Oak Ridge, seemed to be stronger both academically and athletically, and I thought it would be a great fit for Brandon. During my research, I did find a lawsuit where a kid was expelled for stealing, but my kid wasn’t a thief right? He had literally never been in trouble for anything in school-everyone loved Brandon so it never occurred to me that I could find myself in that same position.
I began the process and enrolled Brandon toward the end of October 2015. He was angry-much worse than when he went to Oak Ridge. But he was in deeper now with the wrong crowd and he did not want to leave them. He wanted to just move out but as the parent of a minor, I was not going to let that happen. So, with a very sad heart, I dropped him off at Hargrave. I checked in a couple of times after we got home and even drove four hours a few days later to see his first soccer game-he played amazing for them and I know the coaches were thrilled to have him. He did everything he was supposed to do for that first week. Then, the weekend came, and they gave him his cell phone. A cell phone?? The rules, even at Hargrave, are that students do not have cell phones for the first 2-3 weeks of classes. A lot of kids aren’t excited to be there and this time gives them a period to adjust before talking to people back home. I’m not sure why a new student would be treated any different should they come later into the semester. For Oak Ridge, there are no cell phones or internet for any student during the 2 week “matriculation” period. So, Brandon gets his cell phone, and his first call-right to the “bad” kid that he wants to go live with and his “bad” mother.
To shorten the story, the next call I get is from Hargrave, on a Sunday evening, that Brandon is missing. He walked off campus. He was found about an hour later already back in our home town because the “bad” kid had taken him mom’s car and drove the 4.5 hours to Virginia to pick up my son. As days unfold, Hargrave informs me that he cannot return because he has broken the rule and he is too risky. I was able to get law enforcement involved and there is a court order issued, a protective order to prevent “bad” kid and his mother from contacting or harboring my son in their home. We run around at home like crazy people trying to figure out what to do and in the end, draw out all the rest of our savings and Brandon’s money for college, to send him to a private school in Utah where he can finish out the school year away from everyone, get therapy and discipline, and hopefully this time come home older and wiser. I am happy to report, that as of today, he is doing great. Grades are good, behavior is excellent, and he is doing what he needs to do. However, as a family, it is difficult. He is tremendously homesick. He missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and his birthday because there are not breaks like a normal school or a military school like Hargrave, and it is terribly expensive to fly back and forth. Financially, we are broke now with all of the tuition costs and the legal fees to get the permanent protective order in place. The whole situation has broken my heart but we were without many options and I had to protect my son whatever that involved which brings me to my very important advice about looking at different options to help your child.
At Hargrave, I signed a contract. I did. I signed it for an entire year of tuition. You know why? I would have done anything to help my son. That’s what we do. These schools are a business and they bank on us doing that. Military, boarding, therapeutic schools and wilderness camps make millions off of parents with “struggling” teens just like me every year. I am by no means saying they are bad or do not help, but they are businesses. That’s it-just like every other business that needs your money to survive. As parents, we will sign things without even really looking at it or thinking it through, just to help our kids.
Parents researching for ways to get their teens back on track do it while having a ton of different emotions: